I used to have this thing where I really wanted everyone to think that I had it all together — you know, that I was perfect.
During this same period in my life (because real life is, indeed, often like a novel, full of perfect irony and poetic justice), my credit card debt was mounting. And not only did I not want to know the grand total myself (and therefore avoided adding up my balances), I also didn’t want anyone else to know that I had any debt at all.
I was super afraid of knowing the truth myself and most especially afraid of others knowing it.
Here’s the thing:
TRYING TO HIDE THINGS SUCKS YOUR ENERGY.
Spending time and energy trying to look like you’re perfect is exhausting.
This is not news to anyone, but it bears repeating — and possibly tattooing on our foreheads (or at least writing on our mirrors in red lipstick :)
No one is perfect. And no one expects you to be either.
Plus, when we’re busy pretending that we’re perfect we’re also simultaneously making another serious error:
We don’t ask for support.
This has three consequences, all of which are doozies:
- We keep people at arm’s length and never give them the honor of truly knowing us — flaws and all.
- We don’t ever get to experience true intimacy.
- We don’t get the help we need to create the lives we’d really like to have.
I could have paid off my debt a heck of a lot sooner if I had skipped a few years of hiding and instead:
a) faced the music and admitted, even just to myself, that I had a problem, and
b) told someone else the truth and asked for support.
Ultimately, I did do both of these things and they made ALL the difference in the world.
When we’re honest about our imperfections and let the people in our lives in on them, we not only allow ourselves to relax into the freedom of being human, we also give everyone else permission to be all of who they are. And then we all get to be all of us, together. It’s awesome.
The biggest myth out there is that vulnerability and asking for help shows weakness.
Here’s the truth:
OUR TRUE POWER LIES WITHIN OUR VULNERABILITY.
Do you have something you’re trying to avoid or hide from yourself or others?
HERE’S A PRESCRIPTION THAT WILL LIGHTEN THAT LOAD REALLY QUICKLY:
1. Out yourself to yourself. Tell yourself the truth about where you are (with a really big heap of love).
2. Allow yourself to feel how scary being imperfect and vulnerable feels.
3. Let someone who’s safe see your vulnerability.
4. Ask for support.
When we cross over to the other side, I don’t think anyone is giving out awards to the people who appeared the most perfect during their lifetimes. So we might as well just give it up now.
And when you do give up your perfect act and finally ask for some help, you free yourself and you free everyone around you too. (Chances are good you haven’t been fooling them anyway.)
Drop the act and take a stand for being human.
OVER TO YOU:
Is there anything in your life you’re avoiding or trying to hide? Are you ready to tell yourself the truth and then ask someone for help?
Tell me about it in the comments below so I can support you in setting yourself free.
AND ONE MORE THING . . .
Is your money life an area you’ve been avoiding? Have you been hiding the truth about your finances from people in your life?
It’s okay. I get it. I hid for several years too. And you know what? Telling the truth and getting help felt soooooo good.
No comments:
Post a Comment