Death is an Illusion. The soul never dies. We are all souls having a human experience, not the other way around. Everyone who is familiar with my work has heard me use these words to explain how each lifetime is just a single stop on our soul journey. But even with that profound understanding, it hurts when someone we love passes from this world.
No matter who we are, we all share a common event with everyone else on the planet – at some point we will experience the loss of someone close to us. And although the death of a loved one affects everyone differently, it’s important to take the time to process the emotions we feel, rather than pushing them deep down inside only to have them resurface later. Through conversations with the dead, plus over 30 years spent providing comfort and guidance to those people left behind, I’ve gathered some insights to help you through the grieving process.
1. Give yourself time to gather with others to say goodbye.
The rituals of death - funerals, wakes, memorials, or whatever your faith or culture decrees – have been developed for a reason. While it might be tempting to avoid them in an attempt to deny that a loved one is gone, these events provide those left behind with comfort and closure. Death rituals serve more than one purpose. They help the living accept the loss of the physical presence of their loved ones so that they can take the first step on their journey toward acceptance and healing, and they help the spirit to understand the fact that they are no longer part of the physical plane.
Often when I connect with a spirit, especially one who has recently passed, they tell me that they were present at their funeral and share how much they appreciate the loving gestures of those who came to say their goodbyes. Accept that the spirit of your dearly departed is present at these ceremonies and take comfort in the knowledge that while they are no longer with you in body, they will always be with you in spirit.
2. Grieving is a process – give yourself time to go through the stages of grief.
Dealing with the loss of someone you love can be a long road. There’s no short cut – everyone must travel through the steps of shock, denial, bargaining, anger, guilt and sadness before arriving at a place of acceptance and understanding. Take your time going through the steps, moving at your own pace, understanding that you may feel like you’re not always in control of your emotions. You may feel angry one moment, numb the next, and almost normal for a while before the whole cycle starts again.
3. Acknowledge your feelings and get help if you need it.
Don’t deny the fact that you are grieving. Suppressed emotions have a way of surfacing in destructive ways like overeating, drinking or drug abuse, violence, depression, even thoughts of suicide. Don’t be afraid to ask others for help and support. A caring friend, relative or counselor can be invaluable at a time like this. Support groups can be especially beneficial, because you can learn from people going through the same torment that you are.
Despite my day-to-day dealings with the Spirit world, I still had to work through the grieving process when my own mother passed away. And when a few years ago, Doreen Virtue and I were sharing our personal experiences with the loss of loved ones, we realized that we were uniquely equipped to comfort and guide others through their grief. Together we wrote How to Heal a Grieving Heart, a simple and beautiful book full of comforting words to help people through this natural passage.
4. Remember your loved one is happy, and they want you to be happy too!
It might help to know that during these times the Spirit of your loved one is with you, sending support and love from beyond to help you through. And remember, one of the most common messages that comes through to me when I connect with the Spiritual realm usually goes something like this: “I’m okay, I’m not in pain and I want my loved ones on Earth to be happy and enjoy their lives.”
So, when you are ready, give yourself permission to move on and enjoy your life, comforted by the fact that your loved one is safe, happy, and always with you. For more ways to heal your grief, see my book How to Heal a Grieving Heart. You can also call in to my Hay House Radio show - Talking To Spirit, Tuesdays 11-12 PM PST.
So, when you are ready, give yourself permission to move on and enjoy your life, comforted by the fact that your loved one is safe, happy, and always with you. For more ways to heal your grief, see my book How to Heal a Grieving Heart. You can also call in to my Hay House Radio show - Talking To Spirit, Tuesdays 11-12 PM PST.
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