Energy. It's the very strength and vitality we require to live a dynamic, driven and determined life. We all have it and we all need it, yet many of us find ourselves lifeless and lethargic by the end (and sometimes at the beginning), of the day.
Life is precious and unpredictably short-lived. It's no wonder then, that many of us drag ourselves through each day miserable and melancholic with the thought that we could be living much better lives.
Throughout the ages, high-energy has been associated with happy, vivacious people, and low-energy with depressed and apathetic people. Unfortunately,psychosomatic medicine has shown a strong link between the mind and body, meaning that the less energy we possess, the more prone we'll be to suffer from illnesses such as depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.
It's true that the healthy and happy person is one filled with energy. Without energy, how can we fulfill our dreams, pursue our goals and overcome our obstacles? Without energy, how can we hope to truly achieve anything of meaning or significance in life? It's true that some people naturally possess more energy than others, but have you ever considered why? Certainly, genetics play a role, but more importantly the environment around us does as well.
Everything Is Energy
If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. ~ Nikola Tesla
At a sub-atomic level, all that exists in life is composed of vibrating atoms, or pure energy. Even incorporeal things such as our thoughts, emotions, instincts and sexual drives can be said to be composed of energy. So essentially, we live in an ocean of motion, and like in the ocean - or any environment on earth for that matter - there are both predators and prey.
If you're reading this article, chances are that you're the prey.
Energy Vampires
Whether you call them Energy-Predators, Psychic Leeches or Life Suckers, there are just some people in life who tend to drain us of energy very quickly. If you're a Highly Sensitive Person like me, or an Empath, you will be very aware of who sucks your energy and when.
However, not all of us are as sensitive or in tune with our bodies, and this can be difficult and confusing to deal with. While some people argue that Energy Vampires are people who can't sustain their own life force in a positive manner, others speculate that Energy Vampires are well-meaning and normal, yet naturally overbearing people. The point of this article, however, is not to delve into the psychology of the Energy Vampire, but to identify and explore ways to strengthen and energize our lives in light of them.
How To Identify The Energy-Leech
You will experience the following symptoms of being:
- Overwhelmed
- Stressed
- Physically ill (e.g. headaches, body aches, etc.)
- Mentally or physically exhausted
- Irritable and/or anxious
You may notice that the Energy Vampire displays many of the following characteristics:
- Big ego, e.g. loves to debate, argue and pick fights.
- Aggressive or passive-aggressive tendencies.
- Paranoia.
- Resentment and anger issues.
- Narcissism
- Melodramatic behavior.
- Whining and complaining.
- Bitching and gossiping.
- Insecurity, e.g. the constant need for reassurance and acceptance.
- Manipulative behaviors, e.g. guilt tripping, emotional blackmail etc.
- Jealousy.
Energy Vampires are, in most cases, takers rather than givers who gain free therapy sessions with their family, friends, lovers, colleagues and even children and strangers who are on the receiving end.
It's also good to realize that Energy Vampires are not always necessarily human beings. They can also be situations or even physical objects in your life. Examples include:
- The internet.
- The TV.
- Other electronic devices (e.g. the radio, mobile phone, etc.)
- Public situations (e.g. crowds, parties, train stations, shopping centers etc.)
- Animals (e.g. neurotic pets)
The hardest thing about suffering at the hands of an Energy Vampire is when they are part of your family or friends circle. How can we regain our vitality in such energy-sucking relationships?
10 Ways To Cope
Sure you may be the prey, but there's no use in playing the role of the victim. To better your life you need to do something. Here are some suggestions:
1. Stop making prolonged eye-contact.
I've personally found that this is one of the biggest energy absorbers. The more eye-contact you make, the more you engage with the other person and what they have to say. Only occasional eye-contact is necessary in this instance.
2. Set a time limit.
Your time is precious as well, and it's not necessary for you to sit around for 1 or 2 hours having your energy zapped and brain numbed. According to your energy level, set a limit of 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes where you can give your focus to the person, and no more.
3. Learn not to react.
This is very important. The Energy Vampire feeds off the reactions of others, fueling them to continue on interacting with you. It's important for you to learn how to be neutral in your interactions with others, meaning that the display of overly positive or negative emotions should be monitored carefully.
4. Learn not to argue or contradict.
Yes it's tempting, but in the long run you can't change other people unless they change themselves first - the more you resist them, the more they will resist (and drain) you.
5. Go with other people.
Approaching the Energy Vampire with 1, 2 or 3 other people will help decrease the level of effort expended, and attention received. For this to work you need to ensure that the additional people aren't psychic leeches either.
6. Listen more than talk.
A lot of the time Energy Vampires simply want and need a listening ear. The more you talk, the more energy you tend to lose (especially if you're introverted). Using words such as "why", "when" and "how" will encourage the psychic sucker to do most of the talking, which in turn will help preserve your energy.
7. Try sticking to light-hearted topics.
Your conversations don't need to be depressive and oppressive. Take control when necessary and change the topic of conversation to something more light and simple.
8. Visualize.
Many people claim that visualizing protective light/energy shields around them helps to deflect psychic fatigue, and maintain a neutral and calm state of mind. Try it some time.
9. Avoid.
This is not always possible, but is a simple and straight-forward technique to assist in your self-preservation. I don't recommend this as a consistent resolution, as the less you come in contact with the Vampire/s the less opportunity you'll have to develop, and put into practice, a useful and necessary life skill.
10. Cut off contact.
This is the last resort. Sometimes for your own health and happiness, you need to make difficult decisions regarding who you choose to surround yourself with. In the end, if you continue to suffer, the best option may be to simply cut ties and move on.
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Have you had experiences with Energy Vampires? Please share your thoughts, opinions and experiences below!
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