Friday, 30 September 2016

Your Dust Is Probably Quite Toxic

Dust Chemicals
By Dr. Mercola
If you are like most Americans, you spend up to 90 percent of your day indoors. Whether you’re at home, in the car or at work, your hours are spent breathing indoor air.
Since your very life depends upon the air you breathe, it is vital you understand the risks associated with your indoor air quality and how to reduce the chemicals in your environment.
The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) states the levels of indoor air pollution may be between two and five times higher inside your home or work than they are outside.1 Some indoor pollutants can be as much as 100 times more concentrated than outdoor levels.
The differences are related to the type of pollutants, the relative lack of air exchange in newer homes and the chemicals you may introduce to your home in your furniture, personal care, home and cleaning products. According to the EPA, poor air quality is one of the top public health risks today.2
While these factors are important to your health, dust plays another important role in your air quality. Recent research has identified chemical pollutants residing in the dust floating in the air and in the dust bunnies under your furniture.

Dust Is More Than Dirt

Dust is anything that breaks down into small enough particles that it can be moved by air currents outside or in your home. The dust in your home is actually a combination of dust and dirt from outside, combined with skin cells, pet dander and a number of other particles that vary from home to home.
Tiny fibers from your clothing, lint that flakes from your carpet and furniture, skin cells, fibers of human and pet hair and a number of other small particles may be found floating around your home or stuck under your furniture. The composition of dust may be complex and contain more than small particles of lint and dirt.
Paloma Beamer, Ph.D., associate professor in the school of Public Health at the University of Arizona, has spent years thinking about and studying dust. She calculates one-third of the dust in your home comes from indoor inorganic sources and two-thirds from soil and outdoor air particles tracked into your home.3
The composition of dust is complex, and so is the composition of one particle. According to Andrea Ferro, Ph.D., who teaches courses in air pollution at Clarkson University in New York, a dust particle can be a simple inorganic or organic compound, but others may have an inorganic center and an organic coating.
In other words, even those little specks of dust can be complicated. Without removal, dust can stick around for a very long time. In fact, quoted in NPR, Ferro says:4
"We're finding things like [the pesticide] DDT in many floor dust samples. We banned that decades ago, but it's still there."

There Is More Than You Think in Your Dust

You might find it hard to get really worked up about the dust in your home. After all, we do call those clumps under the furniture bunnies and not dust rats. You may have considered them more of a nuisance than a health problem.
However, recent research evaluating data from 25 prior studies finds there’s more in those little bunnies than meets the eye.5
Published in the journal Environmental Science and Technology, the study adds to a growing body of research demonstrating the dangers you are exposed to in your own home and workplace.
The chemicals residing in your dust may come from a variety of different sources, from toys and cosmetics to your shower curtain, furniture and cookware.
This study found two classes of chemicals present in high concentrations in your dust. The first is phthalates. These chemicals are commonly found and released from personal care products, such as nail polish, skin creams and lotions, perfumes, hair products and deodorants.6
Exposure has been linked to endocrine system disruption, decreased IQ and respiratory problems.7 These are all health conditions that affect children more quickly, making the inclusion of phthalates in children’s products even more disturbing.
The second class of chemicals is highly fluorinated chemicals (HFCs). These have been associated with testicular and kidney cancers and found in everyday common objects from pizza boxes to cell phones.8 Your home keeps a history of chemicals and other pollutants collecting in your dust. Beamer, quoted in Time Magazine, said:9
"Dust in our homes, especially deep dust in our carpets and furniture, is a conglomerate of substances over the life of the home and can provide a historical record of chemicals that have entered it."

Breathing and Eating Tiny Dust Particles Increases Your Health Risk

If you live in a highly industrialized area, you may have something unique in your dust. In this short video, one researcher from Lancaster University explains the results of a study finding millions of magnetite nanoparticles in the brains of people with Alzheimer’s disease.10
Scientists believe since these nanoparticles are so small, they easily travel over the olfactory nerve to the brain as you breathe them in. These particles create chaos in your brain as they are bioreactive and directly associated with damage seen in the brains of people suffering from Alzheimer’s.
In the brain, magnetite nanoparticles create reactive oxygen species (ROS) or free radicals. These free radicals create oxidative damage to brain cells, a hallmark feature in people suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. In this study, 37 brains of people aged 3 to 92 were studied.11
Researchers found millions of nanoparticles per gram of freeze-dried brain tissue, an amount lead researcher Barbara Maher, called “extraordinary.”12
Another study published in the journal Environmental Science and Technology reviewed 26 past studies, finding a large quantity of phthalates, phenols and flame retardant chemicals in dust particles.13
The concentration in these studies were so high researchers believe you likely inadvertently breathe and eat the particles laden with chemicals.
In this study, 90 percent of the homes had the 10 most common chemicals, which suggests the chemicals originate from items commonly found in your home. The chemical found in most homes was phthalates, commonly found in flexible plastics, personal care products and cosmetics.14

But the Dust Doesn’t Stop There

Milken Institute of Public Health at George Washington University compiled information from past studies, government agencies and other expert bodies and identified 45 different chemicals commonly found in homes.
These chemicals were associated with health hazards such as cancer, reproductive toxicity and endocrine disruption.15
The researchers pointed out that most studies evaluated the health hazards of a single toxic chemical, but finding these chemicals in combination in the dust of your home presents a potentially greater risk and needs further research.
The researchers acknowledged that the dust they studied was generally from the east and west coasts of the U.S. and therefore not nationally representative.
Dust in your home contains more than chemicals that are toxic to your body. Riding along on those dust bunnies are a variety of microbes. In one study evaluating dust in approximately 1,200 homes located across the U.S., indoor and outdoor dust samples demonstrated a broad range of different microbes. Differences appeared to be greater for bacteria than for fungi.16
The distribution of allergens were predictable across climates, but indoor bacterial communities appeared to be more significantly influenced by the occupants than the geography. Factors such as the male-to-female ratio and whether there were pets had a strong influence on the types of bacteria living in the dust.
However, while the variety of bacteria was different, each home had an average of more than 5,000 species of bacteria and 2,000 species of fungi.17 Although your dust may harbor thousands of different bacteria, this isn’t necessarily what makes you sick. Many of these bacteria are harmless, but the chemical and other pollutants that hitch a ride on dust particles decidedly are not.

Tips to Reduce Your Risk

One the best ways to reduce your risk of exposure is to reduce your risks at home where you spend the majority of your indoor time. Top tips to reduce chemical exposure and risk from dust accumulation include:



Eat Organic Meats and Raw Produce

As much as possible, buy and eat organic produce and free-range, organic meats to reduce your exposure to added hormones, pesticides and fertilizers. Also avoid milk and other dairy products that contain the genetically engineered recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH or rBST).

Eat mostly raw, fresh foods. Processed, prepackaged foods (of all kinds) are a common source of chemicals such as bisphenol-A (BPA) and phthalates.


Eat Wild-Caught Salmon or Purified Krill Oil

Rather than eating conventional or farm-raised fish, which are often heavily contaminated with PCBs and mercury, supplement with a high-quality purified krill oil, eat smaller fish or fish that are wild-caught and lab tested for purity. Wild-caught Alaskan salmon, herring and sardines are about the only fish I eat for these reasons.


Buy and Store Food in Glass Containers

Buy products that come in glass bottles or jars rather than plastic or cans, since chemicals can leach out of plastics and the linings of cans and into the contents. Store your food and beverages in glass rather than plastic, and avoid using plastic wrap. Use glass baby bottles and avoid plastic sippy cups for your little ones.


Cook With Ceramic or Glass

Replace your non-stick pots and pans with ceramic or glass cookware.


Use Clean Water

Filter your tap water — both for drinking and bathing. If you can only afford to do one, filtering your bathing water may be more important, as your skin absorbs contaminants. To remove the endocrine-disrupting herbicide Atrazine, make sure the filter is certified to remove it.

According to the Environmental Working Group (EWG), perchlorate can be filtered out using a reverse osmosis filter.


Use Earth-Friendly Products, No Plastics

Look for products that are made by companies that are earth-friendly, animal-friendly, green, non-toxic and/or 100 percent organic. This applies to everything from food and personal care products to building materials, carpeting, paint, baby items, upholstery and more. Replace your vinyl shower curtain with one made of fabric.


Vacuum and Dust Regularly

Use a vacuum cleaner with a HEPA filter to remove house dust, which is often contaminated with traces of chemicals. Wet mop your hard floors regularly, which will prevent dust from accumulating. Wipe furniture with a wet or microfiber cloth.

The small fibers of a microfiber cloth cause the dust to cling to it, while a wet cloth will attract and hold dust better than a dry one. Avoid chemical dusting sprays, which will only add to your home’s chemical load.

Damp dust your electronics frequently; these are a common source of flame-retardant chemicals in your dust. Use high-quality filters in your forced-air heating or cooling system and change them frequently. Caulk and seal cracks and crevices where dust might otherwise accumulate. Wash your hands before eating to remove dust from your hands and reduce the potential of ingestion.


Use Furniture and Clothing Without Fire Retardants or Stain Resistance

When buying new products such as furniture, mattresses or carpet padding, ask what type of fire retardant they contain. Be mindful of and/or avoid items containing PBDEs, antimony, formaldehyde, boric acid and other brominated chemicals.

As you replace these toxic items around your home, select those that contain naturally less flammable materials such as leather, wool and organic cotton. Avoid stain- and water-resistant clothing, furniture and carpets to avoid perfluorinated chemicals (PFCs).


Protect Your Children

Minimize your use of plastic baby and child toys, opting for those made of natural wood or fabric instead. Pay special attention to dusting areas where young children crawl, sit and play.


Use Natural Cleaning Products

Only use natural cleaning products or make your own. Avoid products that contain 2-butoxyethanol (EGBE) and methoxydiglycol (DEGME) — two toxic glycol ethers that can damage fertility and cause fetal harm.18


Use Safe Personal Care Products

Switch to organic brands of toiletries for shampoo, toothpaste, antiperspirants and cosmetics. You can replace many different products with coconut oil and baking soda, for example. EWG has a great database 19 to help you find personal care products that are free of phthalates and other potentially dangerous chemicals.

I also offer one of the highest quality organic skin care lines, shampoo and conditioner, and body butter that are completely natural and safe. Replace feminine hygiene products such as tampons and sanitary pads with safer alternatives.


Go Fragrance-Free

Look for products that are fragrance-free. One artificial fragrance can contain a dozen or more potentially toxic chemicals. Avoid artificial air fresheners, dryer sheets, fabric softeners or other synthetic fragrances.


Download a Helpful App

Milken Institute of Public Health recommends trying the Silent Spring Detox Me app available at silentspring.org. This free app shares simple tips to reduce your exposure to harmful chemicals at home and at work.



Science Has Officially Confirmed That People Can Absorb Energy From Others

 Nature Communications 
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, 29 September 2016

3 Spices To Heal Your Acne From The Inside Out

3 Spices To Heal Your Acne From The Inside Out Hero Image
As a child growing up in India, I remember the hot and sultry months of April and May being busy ones in every Indian household. June was when the Southwest monsoon would unleash its fury, and there would be days when no one could venture out of their homes because of the heavy, torrential rains.
These two months were officially the time when the house would be stocked up to tide itself over the next few months. Red chilies, turmeric roots, and coriander seeds were all dried in the sun before being taken to the spice mill to be ground individually or into a secret blend of spices (the recipe of which each family guarded with their lives). I remember being in crowded marketplaces with the aromas of various spices teasing my nose.
When the medical world could not shed light on a cure for my acne, which was also leaving behind dark marks and scars, it was only natural that I, too, turned toward my spice shelf. After a lot of experimenting and talking to other women, these are the three spices that I now incorporate into my skin care routine to ensure my skin stays clear, smooth, and free of acne.

Turmeric

For the longest time I always hesitated to use turmeric in my skin care routine as I knew that it left a yellow tinge on skin. Women around me use turmeric on a daily basis, and no matter what their coloring, they always have a yellowish hue on their faces. But the trick is to use it mixed with honey, and then I find no yellow tinge on my face after using it. However, do start with very small quantities and increase the amount as you get comfortable with it.
Turmeric has antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial properties. It helps fight off free radicals, which in turn reduces the signs of aging. For people suffering from acne, turmeric helps soothe the inflammation while also helping with scars and reducing the amount of oil secreted by the sebaceous glands.

Cinnamon

Cinnamon is another anti-inflammatory agent. It has antiseptic properties and when applied on the face, brings blood and oxygen to the surface of the skin, which will give you a rosy look. It works on acne by reducing the inflammation and redness; however, since it is a very strong spice, never apply it directly, or even mixed with water, to your face. Always use a gentle medium like raw honey, which will balance out the strong nature of cinnamon.

Nutmeg

Nutmeg is known for its astringent, antibacterial, and anti-inflammatory properties. Its stimulating properties restore and rejuvenate skin by getting rid of the dead cells. It also helps in reducing the appearance of pores, wrinkles, and marks.
Here's a face mask that uses all three spices that's effective for treating acne and the marks left by it. The base is honey, which restores moisture to the skin. As with everything else, start with a small patch test to see how your skin reacts. The best results occur when you let the mask sit on your face for more than 30 minutes. Since all the ingredients in it are natural, they need a bit longer to work.
Ingredients
  • 2 teaspoons organic honey
  • ¼ to 1 teaspoon cinnamon powder, depending on your tolerance (it is always best to start with a very small quantity)
  • ¼ teaspoon finely ground nutmeg powder (I normally take a full nutmeg and grate what I need with a microplane)
  • A pinch of organic turmeric powder (increase it as required)
Optional
  • A drop of avocado or jojoba oil (in the winter months or if your skin is too dry)
  • A pinch of ground orange peel (if you have it and need a little glow)
Preparation
1. Mix all ingredients in a small glass jar.
2. Apply a thin layer on your face, and let it sit for 30 to 60 minutes. The quantity of face mask using the above proportions is enough to last for four applications.
3. Pop the rest into the refrigerator for a cool treat. Use for at least a week to see good results.
Related reads:

8 Signs Of Fake Nice People You Need To Be Aware Of













BY CHLOE CHONG

http://www.lifehack.org/469096/8-signs-of-fake-nice-people-you-need-to-be-aware-of

Monday, 26 September 2016

The Moment I Knew I Was A Psychic

The Moment I Knew I Was A Psychic Hero Image
The universe is full of surprises, even for a psychic like me.
I've come to embrace the unpredictability, chaos, and beauty of it all, which has led to profound happiness. Though, trust me, it wasn't always this way.
I had to learn how to utilize divine guidance, listen to my intuition, and grow from my experiences to create the life I love.
I've been gradually feeling, seeing, hearing, and dreaming of Spirit since I was 5 years old, but I wasn't able to truly understand what I sensed or make practical use of it until later in life. My earliest experiences occurred at my uncle's house, where I simply sensed a presence in the basement that made me want to bolt upstairs—it was jarring to feel that "someone" was with me whom I visibly couldn't see.
During my grade-school years, I began dreaming about enormous, magnificent angels. In my early teens, when my friend Lori and I were at a wedding together, at one point she looked to me as if she were engulfed by a misty gray cloud or aura. I never said a word about it to anyone, but the next day, I was devastated when my mom told me Lori had died from a sudden illness. I'd seen it coming in a way, and the gravity of this realization weighed on me.
My abilities continued to open and expand into my late teens, and thankfully the large majority of them were positive and fun. I dreamed of other time periods in France and Italy that I believe were past lives. And when close family members died, they'd playfully pay me a visit. I remember gathering for Sunday dinners with my living family and seeing deceased loved ones at the table, too! It had become increasingly clear that I had a stronger intuition than the average bear, and the more I accepted it, the more Spirit validated it.
Most of the women in my mom's family are, or were while they were alive, psychic to varying degrees, so I was taught to embrace my random experiences and abilities as part of who I am. And around the age of 18, Mom went to see a psychic medium named John Edward, and during her reading, he told her that I, too, was a medium who hadn't learned to hone her skills yet.
I began to search for more information about what lay ahead of me, but I couldn't get a handle on how one is meant to hone any intuitive ability, much less spin it into a fulfilling life.
I tried using tarot cards, but I couldn't get them to work. I meditated every day, hoping for an epiphany or vision, but I saw only the backs of my eyelids. I attended a few Spiritualist events, but at that age, I couldn't relate to their woo-woo vibe. Back in the real world, I was in my 20s, working long hours in the retail industry and going out at night.
By my mid-20s, I put my spiritual search aside, got married, and gave birth to a gorgeous daughter and son. I loved playing house and adored everything about being a mother and wife, but when I hit my 30s, my happiness began to shift. I faced frustrating health issues, threw myself into more activities than I could manage, and realized that beyond loving and living for my kids, I was trying to busy myself because life felt a bit empty.
Yet no matter how blue I felt, I knew deep inside that my muted and mixed-up day-to-day existence was not my fate. I knew I wasn't living true to myself.
A still, small voice inside said it was time to turn to God in a new way—at least for me. I began to pray. A lot. Since I wasn't raised with religion, I didn't know exactly what to say or how to address Him; I just did what came naturally. I joined a church, nourished my belief system, and found a lot of peace in the church's structure and community. As all this unfolded, I felt divine guidance at work; each step came with a soft prod to keep going and a sense that everything was going to be OK—maybe not immediately ideal but doable. I know now that having sudden good ideas, feeling drawn to uncanny choices, and receiving calm validations that you're on the right track are all ways that Spirit leads you through intuition.
It was right around this time that our family went through a terrible tragedy: the sudden death of my father-in-law, James. Through the confusion, grief, and emotional displacement, I had faith, asked for guidance, and acted on the direction I felt. As I began to try to make sense of it all, I met a spiritual teacher from Long Island named Pat Longo. During our visit, I shared my entire history with Pat, including my premonitions and dreams. She asked if I could "hear Spirit," and I had no idea what she meant. Once in a while I'd hear an audible voice when I was the only person in the room, but I didn't chat up ghosts all day.
"Spirit comes in your own voice," she clarified, further explaining that souls mostly use our instincts and inner voice to communicate with us. That's when, out of nowhere, I heard my own inner voice say, "Mention the A-name"—and when I repeated it to Pat, she said her deceased mom's name is Alice.
Pat took this psychic validation as a cue to perform a healing on me. She asked me to close my eyes and she placed her hands over my body. This process can also open intuitive doorways, so to speak, which is what happened next. "Tell me if you see, hear, or feel anything," Pat said.
I told her I felt a peacefulness wash over me. My eyes were shut, but I saw purple, blue, and green waves swirling around like a lava lamp in my third eye. (Mom would be proud!) Pat said the colors corresponded to the awakening of my chakras: Purple represents spiritual awareness, my third eye expanding, and the ability to see clairvoyantly. Blue symbolizes my ability to communicate and express myself. And green stands for my capacity to offer compassion, love, and healing to others.
After doing her thing, Pat moved across the room so I could sit alone with my eyes still closed. This is fun but kind of nuts, I thought—and remembering this now, I can almost hear my angels and spirit guides laugh, saying "You ain't seen nothin' yet!"
Every one of us has a Universal Team of Spirit, including angels, spirit guides, departed loved ones, religious deities, and other evolved souls who help you maneuver through life's ups and downs. It was my own team that helped me move forward. And as I did, they taught me to Believe, Ask, and Act—three simple and powerful steps that honed my intuition, set change in motion, and cleared roadblocks that stood in my way to happiness.
No matter what challenges I face, these valuable steps are the reason I wake up every day thinking, I've got this!

Sunday, 25 September 2016

This letter is to you


This letter is to you.
The you that’s had a rough week. 
The you that seems to be under constant storm clouds. 
The you that feels invisible. 
The you that doesn’t know how much longer you can hold on. 
The you that has lost faith. 
The you that always blames yourself for everything that goes wrong. 
To you. 
You are incredible. 
You make this world a little bit more wonderful. 
You have so much potential and so many things left to do. 
You have time. 
Better things are coming your way, so please hang in there.  
You can do it. – Jodi Ann Bickley



Why Loving Someone Isn’t Enough to Make It Work

couple
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~Stephen Chbosky
Have you ever thought that you could love someone enough to make everything work?
Have you been in a relationship where you knew you weren’t really happy, but you kept saying, “But I love him/her. Isn’t that enough?”
I know how it feels to believe this. I have felt this more times than I care to admit. The worst was when I fell in love with my ex-husband. He was twelve years my junior, from another country (Greece), and barely spoke English.
Our souls connected immediately, and I fell in love with him. What was I thinking? We had nothing in common. He was not ready financially or emotionally. We could not communicate. Our cultures were different. But I was in love, and shouldn’t that have been enough?
It wasn’t only my ex-husband that I had this problem with. Every relationship I’ve had was fatally flawed. They weren’t flawed because I chose bad, evil men. They were flawed because I fell in love with character and not with our compatibility or their ability to contribute to my happiness.
I fell in love with these men because of who they were, not how they made me feel. Yes, they were kind. Yes, they were ethical. Yes, they were attractive. But not one of them really listened to me. Not one of them treated me like I was the best thing since sliced bread.
Still, I stayed. I kept trying and trying. I kept thinking that if I were enough they would care more. I kept thinking if I gave more they would understand I was doing everything to make them happy, and in return they would want to make me happy.
I stayed hoping some miracle of all miracles would happen, because I loved them and shouldn’t love be enough?
Unfortunately, it isn’t. It never will be. Just loving someone isn’t enough.
So, whether you are in a relationship that you are unsure of right now or if you are just venturing into the dating world, ask yourself these things before you settle down.

1. How do you feel about yourself when you’re around them?

When you’re around them do you feel content and accepted, or do you feel anxious and misunderstood? Sometimes our relationships can be a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, so be careful not to push your judgment of yourself onto your partner.
Determine whether these feelings arise out of their treatment of you, or whether they are insecurities you have no matter who you are with.
Some people are just a better match for us than others. I’m someone who likes to talk and connect on a deep, emotional level. Unfortunately, I have a habit of choosing partners who don’t like to talk and don’t like to connect, so I always end up feeling alone and misunderstood. There was nothing wrong with them; we just weren’t a good match.

2. Are my needs equal in importance to their own?

When you tell your partner something is important to you, how do they react? If you tell your partner, “I really need to spend quality time with you because it makes me feel special,” and they don’t understand what that means and don’t want to know, then perhaps you are not right for each other.
Relationships take two equal parts. If you make your partner’s needs important, then your partner has to do the same or you are in a lopsided relationship and you will never be fulfilled.
I remember one time I came home from an extremely stressful week/month at work, and I really needed to vent. I started talking to my then husband. To this day I remember him saying to me, “Carrie. Carrie. I am not your girlfriend. If you want to talk, call Tracy.”
What could I do with that? If my own husband doesn’t want to talk to me and doesn’t care about my day or that I’m stressed, where can we go? Yes, you can guess where we went. We went to divorce court.

3. Are their core values in line with mine?

We all have core principles and values that we live by. These are different for each of us. However, if your partner does not have the same values you have, then there is likely to be trouble in paradise as time marches on. Core values are things you must have in a partner.
Core values include:
  • Religion
  • The desire to have children
  • How you deal with money
  • Integrity
  • Fidelity
  • Family
  • Health
For example, I’m insanely ethical. I was born this way. I can’t explain it. No one wants a cheater or a liar, but many times people cheat and lie and explain it away or justify it. This is completely incompatible with my sense of self, and something I could never accept in a partner. I was drawn to my last boyfriend because of his ethical principles. He was highly actuated in this area and it made me extremely attracted to him because of it.
Some of these things change over time, and sometimes not. Some people can become more religious or decide they want children. It is possible to change the way you view and handle money.
Deeply ingrained core values are not likely to change. If the person you are with is not family-oriented and doesn’t want to be, and you have a huge conflict, you are setting yourself up for trouble. If you want children and s/he doesn’t and never will, then stop trying to make it something it isn’t just because you love him.

4. Do they want to know me? The real me?

I believe everyone has different comfort levels in regard to vulnerability. Some people crave intense emotional intimacy, and some do not.
My parents were married for thirty-four years, and I often wonder how much they really knew each other. They were happy and content, but at times it seemed like a surface relationship because neither was willing to show the other their true self. I don’t judge them because that is what they were capable of. For me though, I want and need more.
Are you capable of showing your partner who you really are on your darkest days? Do they want to know? Do you feel accepted and understood for all your quirkiness and irrationality or whatever your personality traits are?
If not, then you may be left perpetually dissatisfied, and over time the relationship will probably erode itself away, or you will be drawn to someone else you think does want to know you and does accept you. Honestly, this is probably where most affairs start.

5. Is my life better with them in it?

Is your partner an asset or a hindrance? Do they support you or suck the life out of you? Do they want you to reach your goals and your dreams, or do they put you down and make you feel like you can’t or won’t accomplish anything?
A partner should be your biggest supporter and cheerleader, and if they aren’t put them on the bench and find a new player. Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t believe in you. Don’t take this to mean you should be able to do whatever you want and they should accept it. What it means is you should feel content and supported and loved with this person in your life.
Days should not be filled with angst, fights, conflict, or division. If your days are not happy the majority of the time, then ask yourself why. What are you contributing to the unhappiness? Fix your side of the street and see if anything changes. If not, you may need to rethink why you are with them.

What Do I Want?

Don’t ask these questions just once. Ask them over and over. Ask them in one month. Ask them in six months. Ask them in six years. As much as you love them, and as much as you think they may love you, if they can’t meet your needs, and don’t want to meet them, then you are wasting your time and wasting precious moments of your life.
There are many wonderful, kind people out there, but that doesn’t make them right for you. Just because you love them doesn’t mean you can be happy with them.
Don’t waste years on someone because “you love them.” Every day is a choice. Choose your own happiness, and in doing so you will choose love rather than it choosing you.