As you seek transformational opportunities in your spiritual, professional, and personal life, it helps to take stock of your level of self-assertiveness.
There’s a very fine feathery line between giving of yourself, and giving up yourself. Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express yourself without undue reservations, or anxiety. It’s the act of you aggregating the energies of your personal power and aligning yourself with the Divine Source Energy.
You set the precedent on how others will treat you! If others think they can walk all over you, they will project their perception onto you.
Following the steps below will lead you not only on a path to personal freedom, but the expansion and expression of your inner light! It’s time to step into your domain. Are you ready?
1. Identify your boundaries.
The very first step to mastering self-assertiveness is figuring out where to draw the line. Love yourself enough to say no to others’ demands on your time, emotions, and energy!
Be honest with yourself and avoid letting self-doubt stop you from defining new boundaries.
Start by writing down where you draw the line in various situations, and pay attention to your internal reactions. Your emotions are an excellent variable that helps determines where your annoyances lies.
Recall past situations in which you let someone go too far. How did you feel?
At what point could you have put your foot down? What are you willing to do, and not do for them? When setting your boundaries, keep the golden rule in mind, “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you” and demonstrate that.
As you respect your own boundaries, others will begin to recognize and respect them within you. Once those boundaries have been set don’t do things out of guilt, obligation, or fear!
2. Use honesty as a tool.
Honesty is essential to healthy relationships, and you can use it as a tool to reinforce your boundaries. The truth will set you free from the emotional restraints that you have put on yourself, by allowing others to dominate your actions, feelings, and journey.
You’ll likely find that becoming assertive will drastically change your life. They may be taken aback by your newly acquired self empowerment, but remember you aren’t responsible for their reactions or feelings.
Once you’ve reclaimed your power, avoid letting anyone encroach on your domain ever again.
3. Think strategically, and stay rooted in peace.
As you build up your self-assertiveness, you’ll need a strategy to deal with individuals who overstep your boundaries. Assertiveness requires a clear and calm discourse, rather than a verbal shouting match.
You may find that when you confront someone about their behavior, they become defensive. Do your best to remain at peace and centered.
Generally, the calmer you are when you engage the offender, the more effective your conversation will be.
Yes, it’s easier said than done, but it’s worth the effort. Your energy will be the dominant one in the interaction, although it well be more subtle.
The individual may feel as if they’re under attack, especially if you haven’t taken them to task before. In this situation, your opponent will likely try to derail you by changing the subject.
While you are having your conversation, and you feel as if it’s being derailed, incorporate the acronym ASSA into your conversation strategy so that you will stay on topic and to the point:
Alert the person that you would like to speak with them.
State your grievance clearly and calmly.
Sell the benefits of them altering their behavior.
Agree that they’ll do things differently in the future.
If you find yourself slipping at any point, bring yourself back to the last main point of the conversation before it veered.
If they don’t want to listen, then let it go. You will not be able to force anyone to listen to what you have to say, but continue to set your boundaries.
You are capable of standing up for yourself.
Your journey that has gotten you to where you are in the present, illustrates that you encompass all the wisdom and resources that you need to be in alignment with your assertiveness.
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